Steampunk

My next door neighbor is a nice old lady, 93 years old. My Mom said something to her about "Sorry about all the cars in the yard" and she said, "Doesn't bother me! I see him out tinkering with them. Boy's gotta have a hobby!"

They put her in a nursing home a few weeks ago, and then said she had to stay. So they're selling her house...

So I actually got a chance to eat lunch at home today rather than gas station food, and I hear a car pull up. It's the local constabulatory. I go to the door, and he says he's serving a complaint for the number of unregistered cars in the yard. It was two, so I told him "that one" is going to the junk yard in a week or two. Then he says, "You're only allowed one"! I said, last time I checked it was two, but he said it's one now. So he's looking my cars over and spies the Supra. "Well, that's a nice one! What's with the red one?" "I bought that new in 1985, and it was the best car I ever owned, and it was going to get fixed up, but then I bought the Supra" "You bought it NEW?" yup...275,000 miles ago. Best car I ever had.

So he says, "Leave the red on there, send the wagon to the junk yard, and move that one into the garage. The others are OK because they're registered." I have a neighbor who's a cop, and he asked what was with all the cars, and I said I buy them cheap, fix them, drive em till they drop and then buy another cheapie! That was the end of that. Never said a word about the three w/o plates. So this guy today says, Fix the red one and get it registered, and move the other into a garage and you're OK"

So, my mom's car is registered and in the garage in front. Think I'll move THAT one out, and put the white one in the garage...

So later the neighbor's son is powerwashing the house, and I said, "Ya know, you could have just come to ME and asked me about the cars instead of calling the cops! I'm pretty easy to get along with."

OOOPS. See, I would have just put the white one in the garage downstairs. Guess there's going to be the same number of cars in the yard after all...

Rocketman

Get some friends to bring their "registered" old junkers, pick-ups, and park them there

rglassmyer

I had a very similar experience with new neighbors of my own just a few years ago. I had a 95 eagle talon turbo, last year they made them I think, bought it at 4800 bucks with approximately 45K miles on 10 years old. The friend that I bought it from meticulously maintains his vehicles, and he had several aftermarket performance parts in it that I didn't want to replace with standard stuff because I loved how it drove, basically a fun car at a really good price. When the clutch started to slip, I couldn't afford to replace it right away, so we parked it on a dead end alley one house down that led to an abandoned factory. The inspection date passed on it, and it was around 3 months till I had the cash to have the clutch put in, but in that time, our recently deceased next door neighbor's (nicest old lady ever) house flipped, and it was a college prof that moved in. In the first week we had three tickets on it for the inspection being out, which I didn't realize because I parked it facing away from the main street for just that reason. Finally an officer came to our door and told us we had to move it that day or it'd be towed. Two days later they caught me outside and said thanks for moving my car, I thanked them for asking me to in a civil manner.

We get along now, they've smelled my grill and always take the opportunity to strike up a conversation when I'm cooking outside, in hopes of getting some scraps thrown over the fence

quasimod

With a strategically placed, crumpled-up beer can on the dash (really cheap beer). Maybe fix one up with shades and a step so it looks like someone is living in it. Rebel flag sunshade. Truckstop bumperstickers, like "No Habla Jibber-Jabber", "Protected by Smith & Wesson", "Beaver Hunter", etc.

Of course, you need to be friendly to the potential buyers. Break the ice with a joke... here's a good one-liner:

Haha, yep, I like my wimmin same as I like my whiskey! 10 years old, and all mixed up with coke!

mg7454

Okay,
I see your point about your neighbor just coming to talk to you instead of sending the constable out to see you; however, there are so many people who are very confrontational and unapproachable these days that I can see why he may not want to come speak with you personally.
He's probably trying to sell the house for the best price so that the nice lady who lived there will get the good care she needs.
Some people would start arguing and end up shooting the guy! NOT laughing at all!